I usually lack motivation, and find it hard to get going, especially now at seven months pregnant.

But the last couple of days I have an itch in me that wants to do something, and I’m not sure what it is. I feel the need to do something creatively or to feel like I’m making a difference, but I have no idea what it it.

I have some unfinished projects I need to finish which is a start. But that’s not enough. Once I figure out what it is, I will be happy!

Great British Weather

I know I shouldn’t complain, but I will anyway.


At 7 months pregnant it is an absolute nightmare doing anything, because you are knackered and boiling within about 5 seconds of moving.

Sleeping is a distant memory, and so is being a normal regulated temperature.

Boys Boys Boys

I was super excited when I found out I was having another boy. Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve been happy if it were a girl, but I was so sure I wanted two boys.

I think some people thought that I would like a girl ‘to have one of each’. Not really. Girls are just drama, and don’t get me started on teenage angst and hormones, I remember all too well how that felt. I just couldn’t see myself with a baby girl, and given that this pregnancy was unexpected to say the least, the very least nature could do was to bless me with another little boy. I can just see them being best buddies, sharing and looking out for each other. I’m sure girls do this too, but there is something unexplainable within me that wanted the two boy bond.

I’m sure its lovely having a baby girl, with the pink and the frills, but being a tomboy myself growing up, I like the rough and tumble of boys (and their toys seem to be way cooler).

Part of me had to gear myself up just to prepare in case this was a girl. I knew I would cry, and selfishly, some part of me would have been disappointed. Controversial? Maybe. After all, any baby is a blessing. I’ve read about gender disappointment groups, and I was secretly hoping that I wouldn’t have to join one, but would have been nice knowing I wasn’t alone in my feelings.

I am happy and excited knowing that my second little boy is on the way, something I’m not sure I could’ve guaranteed had it been a girl. I almost feel guilty for saying it, but I’m putting it out there because I’m sure many a person has been through something similar.

So we are definitely a male-orientated household now. The dog and I severely outnumbered, but that’s exactly how I want it.

New Year

Can’t believe its been nearly two months since I last posted, shame on me!

Well Christmas has been and gone, and so has Lenny’s second birthday, seriously where does the time go?

We have a proper little toddler on our hands now, we’ve entered the twos but it hasn’t been terrible so far. Yes, he has the odd yell and throws a toy occasionally, but to be fair we’re getting off pretty lightly.

Finally managed to upgrade him to a beaker for his juice, we must have at least 50 others in the cupboard (I’m not the only one right?). I think our next milestone is going to be tackling potty training. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it personally, but I’m sure it will click with him when he is ready.

Though, he has learnt how to open the front door now so have to make sure it is locked at all times! Its scary how clever little people are, don’t put anything past them! x

Drawing Board

So I’ve unleashed the crayons on Lenny, and I wasn’t expecting anything more than scribbles to be honest. What I wasn’t expecting however, was how protective I would be of my crappy little crayon drawings. As a person of an arty nature, I was very distraught when Lenny brandished his crayon over Gerald the Giraffe, and squiggled a line through his head.

That creation had taken a good five minutes, and I was immensely proud of it. But, alas, it is no longer destined for the Tate Modern, I will simply have to find somewhere else to hang my masterpiece.

Also,crayons are incredibly difficult to blend, I wonder if Crayola have ever thought about this?

I have since managed to hide my disappointment from Lenny, and am now focusing on outlines of drawings for him to add his own stamp to. I think this is suiting us well.

There is no way he is coming near my very own colouring book though, that only makes an appearance after his bedtime. And I have my very own pencils which actually blend (oh the joy!) so I can unleash my creativity elsewhere.

Work work work work work

We’re having a bit of a change around at work, and I’ve applied for a couple of internal jobs. Nothing major, I still have my job if I don’t get one of the new ones.

They asked me today about my hours, and stated that it would be a full time position. I work 30 hours a week currently, mostly because I value time with my family.

I didn’t really think about it at first, but a realisation has crept in that I might not actually be able to progress in my career, unless I go back to full time. Its upset me a bit, and I feel slightly discriminated against.

Its also made me think, that it might stand against me if I am working part time. I might not be considered for roles unless I guarantee I will be working full time.

I’m feeling a bit disheartened about it all, I shouldn’t have to choose between my family or my career.

Break on through, to the other side…

So I see its been a week since my last post. This is due to the fact that Lenny has still not been sleeping very well until the weekend. Unfortunately, he now has a cold, but this is only causing minimal disruption.

I have to be honest, but the end of last week, I seriously thought I was losing my mind. I was sleep deprived, emotional and going through a transition with my medication. No wonder I was all over the place.

I felt like I was failing and not able to cope. The hourly wake ups, sleeping on the floor and subsequently getting up for work was killing me.

I could’ve fell asleep on my desk every day last week, and was struggling to find my motivation and keep my temper. It was a scary time, the sleep deprivation and the medication change do not go well together. I’m surprised no one noticed the struggle.

Feeling slightly better now that the routine is subsequently returning to normal. Nothing prepares you for a sleep regression like this, you can read as many help blogs as you like, but nothing will solve it. You just have to persevere, and hope that you survive!

How to Survive a Wedding with a Toddler (or at least, just get through the day)

This is an honest and realistic guide of what to expect if you’re taking a child under two to a wedding.
If you’ve been invited to a wedding, and so has your child, chances are they actually want them there, or they don’t have kids themselves and have no idea of what the fallout will be.
How they behave at a special event like this, is purely how they behave the rest of the time. Wouldn’t it be lovely to have a toddler that would sit quietly and patiently throughout the service and speeches? Well yes it would be, if said toddler was like that at home.
It our case, this was not applicable.
If your toddler is cheeky, active, with a tendency to be naughty on the verge of you having a breakdown, then this is what will happen at a wedding. Don’t think for one second they will appreciate the enormity of the occasion, as they will probably use the silence to practice their vocal skills (echoey rooms are hilarious for them, and will only increase their vocal volume).
I had read a few survival guides for weddings, and they made it sound idyllic. However, I wanted to put together my own, as the chances are, the results will probably be like mine.
1. Take the pushchair – ok, this is an obvious one, and you will find it on any other list. It is handy if you need to walk any distance, or at least have a seat to put them in. They are also useful to store any additional crap in the bottom. It is great if your child likes to stay in their pushchair – but mine doesn’t. Take it anyway, you never know, they might actually stay in it at some point.

2. Food – take plenty of snacks that are easily accessible (no crinkly wrappers), and have the ability to cause as little mess as possible. You may think that fruit is a good idea, but not if it’s gooey and has a tendency to stick to things (such as someone’s hair). Take your own cutlery and plates, as ‘adult’ utensils are very noisy, especially during the speeches.

3. Toys – again, take things that create as little noise as possible. I took our tablet and already had some children’s apps downloaded onto it. Don’t feel bad about using technology to distract your child – it is a godsend. Crayons are also good, but as long as they don’t tend to chew them. Potentially, attach bungee cords to any toys; you will get sick of picking the bloody things up, trust me.

4. Plan an escape route – during the ceremony, make sure to sit at the back in the aisle seat. Scope out your escape route before the ceremony starts, you don’t want to be tripping over looking for the exit. If your child is fidgety like mine, chances are, you are going to have to leave the ceremony at some point. So, best to expect this beforehand.

5. Change of clothes (possibly two) – you have no idea how important this is, and is probably the best thing I took with me. If they have been in a suit etc. all day, take something comfy to change into for the evening. Lenny decided to have a rice pudding fight with himself during the speech, which was hilarious and mortifying in equal measures (and trust me when I say it was everywhere). A change of clothes was an absolute life saver. I don’t like wearing formal wear, and could quite happily have changed into my leggings. The same will apply to your child, they will appreciate it.

6. Other people – don’t expect other people to be quite so gracious and understanding of your child (this is especially true when other children there are very quiet and behaving themselves). I found some people at the wedding were a bit ‘stuck up’, and didn’t appreciate that a 20 month old does not want to sit still. I will not apologise for him being a child, and if people have a problem with this, then just ignore it.

7. Take it as it comes – because there is no way you’re going to be able to predict what happens. Plan for the worst, and that is what will happen. You know your child better than anyone, and you will know what you need to do in any situation. Don’t expect them to be perfect, it’s never going to happen. Kids are loud, messy, entertaining and thrive on other people’s attention and will attract it however they see possible.

It really is as simple as that. But if you get the offer of someone looking after your child whilst you attend the wedding, don’t feel bad about accepting it. If you know your child isn’t going to sit still or keep quiet, let them stay somewhere familiar where they are free to be themselves. They won’t miss the occasion, and probably don’t understand what’s going on anyway.
If the worst does happen, like a rice pudding fight, chances are the bride and groom will find it equally hilarious as everyone else, and will be glad that the child enjoyed themselves.
Just remember to take a tonne of baby wipes; you’re seriously going to need those.

Wedding Update

So the wedding went according to plan – a complete stressful nightmare.

I’ve only just recovered from the saga, and can honestly say that I don’t wish to do it again in the near future.

I am in the middle of writing my experiences, and will post in great detail a survival guide for you all.

Meanwhile, I’m currently sat at work with a terrible headache, feeling like I’ve got a hangover when I haven’t drank since New Years Eve.

Happy Tuesday!