Why I chose a second Caesarean Section

It’s definitely not the easy way out. I’m not too posh to push by any means, but it was my choice and this is why.

I was in labour for 72 hours with Lenny. I convinced myself the level of pain was normal, and reassured myself that millions of women had done this before me and it was worth it in the end.

It got to the Sunday lunchtime and by this time, I was begging for an epidural. I was tired, in pain and just wanted him out. The gas and air wasn’t helping in the slightest, it was all getting a bit too much.

Maternity Leave

Can’t believe how quickly this has come around, it’s crazy!

I am very thankful for the rest though, I am still feeling very sick and tired, not really eating much and generally quite grumpy.

I wish I could enjoy my leave a bit more, I have severe limitations to what I can do now ☹

I have managed to start sorting Lenny’s old baby clothes though, so not a complete loss! It’s hard to remember how small they once we’re, some of his baby vests could fit the cat!

I wonder if this baby will fit in them, or if he’s going to be bigger? X

In Sickness

So last week resulted in a visit to the labour ward after being sick a stupid amount of times, and not being able to keep even water down.

I had felt rough all day, puked in the work car park and then about another 9 times before the out of hours doctor sent me up the hospital for some good old iv fluids and anti sickness drugs.

I thought it might be the start of hyperemesis again, but it seems it was just a bug as OH has been sicky too this week.

As much as I hate being in the hospital, I did feel tonnes better a few days later, the best I have done this pregnancy.

Thank you NHS for making me feel human again 😊

Back Again

Rather than apologise for being awol again, I’m going to quickly summarise what’s been happening over the last few weeks and will venture further into these topics in future posts.

1. 20 week scan confirmed boy #2!

2. Extra growth scans will be necessary before the caesarean.

3. Was admitted to hospital (again!) with severe vomiting and dehydration.

4. Sleepy sleepy tired 💤

These are many things amongst others, but mainly just the usual pregnancy related funness! X

And then there were four…

After being absent for a while, I am so excited to announce that baby number two is due in August 😊

I’ve been feeling generally quite rubbish. Thankfully I haven’t been sick like last time, but the never-ending nausea and exhaustion are really getting me down. Even simple tasks are proving to be a chore! I feel jealous of the people that never get ill when they are pregnant!

I wish I felt like eating healthy, but all I want is junk food which is making me feel worse. I’m going to be the size of a whale 🐳

Countdown to Christmas

Firstly, I’d like to apologise for my lack of posting. As I may or not have mentioned before, we have had a lot going on at home. Now that has been resolved (successfully!), I can get back to posting about the tribulations of young children!

We are finally in the Christmas spirit in our house, and we are looking forward to our second Christmas as a family. Lenny still doesn’t really understand the whole Christmas thing, so the presents, cards and decorations will be a bewilderment to him. Especially, as at the moment, he is in love with cardboard boxes and playing with them instead! We did make some Christmas cards a couple of weeks ago, which involved finger paints, a whole lot of mess but a whole lot of fun, so that will be a nice surprise for anyone receiving one of those this year!

I guess the only main concern is the tree. I remember last year he had a fascination with it, so this year he is going to be all over it for sure. I am fully expecting to find the tree and its decorations strewn across the floor on multiple occasions before the year is out.

Another thing I’m hoping to do is to take Lenny to the park, and have a go on the Christmas train! Like most little boys, he is obsessed with trains and I know this will be a real treat for him.

Its nice to be able to finally plan for Christmas after a truly rubbish year up until this point. How is everyone else doing? How are your Christmas plans going (or not going)?

Keep On Keeping On

We’re all having a difficult time with things at the moment, and its hard to know how to cope.

I find it hard to stay positive in the face of adversity, but I have to believe that things will work out and that Christmas will be awesome 🎄

Just wanted to say to the people going through trashy times whatever your situation – I feel your pain, believe things will get better and don’t bottle it up.

You got this ❤ xxx

Unrealistic Expectations

I had a friend post the other day about the pressures of being a perfect mum, exactly what this blog is about. We all do the best we can, we make mistakes but our children are none the worst for it.

Bearing perfection in mind, I’m posting a before and after make up shot of me to make you all feel better!

(Note – I look like the before most of the time, as I dont get time to make up every day!)

Up and Down

I’ve been a bit touch and go when it comes to my blogging, mainly because I’ve had a tough couple of weeks mentally as I transitioned between medication. I had a bad reaction a couple of weeks ago, which resulted in a very scary breakdown, which I don’t remember much of.

I’ve reached out for a bit more support, so I’ve been in touch with my local Wellbeing Team, and I can also get some sessions of counselling via work. I’ve gone back onto my old medication, as I don’t want to go downhill again.

Hope everyone else is doing ok, I will do some more posting soon as and when I feel up to it.

Take care x

Another Sleep Regression

I haven’t posted for a few days, frankly because I’ve been too tired. Lenny has hit another sleep regression patch, and I’m feeling a bit sleep deprived.

He has decided that he will not go to sleep unless I stay in the room with him. He has also taken to waking during the night again, and wont go back to sleep again for two hours (and of course, I have to stay in there).

One night I even slept on the floor, just to get him back to sleep. Obviously, I don’t want to get into the habit of doing these things, because I don’t want him to come to expect it. Its just so bloody difficult when they are screaming and crying, and you just want to comfort them. I feel guilty for letting him cry, but he only stops when I’m there.

One thing I found last night that worked, what a guided sleep meditation video on You Tube. I played it to him whilst I was in there, and after 20 minutes of it, he fell asleep. I’m hoping to try this again tonight, but chances are, it wont work this time!

It could be anything, but I suspect that it is teeth and a growth spurt. He did sleep through last night, but woke with the birds at 6.30am.

It is testing me mentally and physically, Im just praying to wont go on too much longer for all of our sakes. I want my happy little Bean back.